Tuesday, March 2, 2010

To Continue

Arizona sunset during our last camping trip

Two nights ago was not a good night. I experienced some type of cardiac event which included palpitations, my heart felt like it was coming out of my chest, extreme jaw pain with numbness, nausea, dizziness and difficulty breathing. Lying on the bed was torture as my Mr. was closing up the house for the night and I couldn't call for him. Literally, I felt as though I was going to die right there and he wouldn't even know I was experiencing this as I was completely fine one minute before.

Eventually he found me and comforted me as he does so well. 15 minutes or so had passed and I began to feel normal again. I was so scared, a million and one thoughts went through my head; I need to write letters to my children, what would my children do without their mother, does my husband know everything he needs to know, etc..... Just when I think I'm healthy and life is great, something happens to remind me just how lucky I am to be here today let alone tomorrow. Preparing for the worst is not pessimistic, it's realistic. I am at peace with Heaven and The Lord, I am not at peace with leaving behind those that I love.

I say to my Mr. "I just want it to stop."

He replied "we have gotten through the worst of the worst and have come out stronger for it. I will always be here for you and whatever life throws at us we will tackle together. You want it to stop, I just want it to continue".

Here's to continuing life, together, no matter what.

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