Tuesday, March 31, 2009

It Happens

Feeling Blue
I don't know how to explain my feelings today, the one word that comes to mind is pure sadness.
I knew this recovery would be very difficult and unfortunately it's only just begun.
My incision is not healing correctly, probably due to the fact that the same incision has been used three times now. The scar may in fact require a scar revision at some point.....time will tell.
I remain in SEVERE pain, most of the time. Sleep just isn't happening for me at night so usually I try and sleep a few hours during the day. However, Jalyn is so sad when he comes home from school to find me in bed and I can't blame him one bit. So today I was up the whole day with no rest.
Leila called Laura (our nanny) "mommy" today.....WOW did that hurt. That hurt deep. I waited incredibly long to hear those beautiful words come out of that beautiful child's lips while looking at me. Sure, you can say oh she just got confused or what not, but it hurt just the same.
Jalyn is an angel......I've known this since he was born. He watches out for me...."MOMMY! YOUR BENDING!!!" He says prayers for me and I receive extra hugs and kisses. He likes to look at my incision and ask "was it more painful when I came out of there?" (Yes we've had the whole where do babies come from and how do they get out chat already. If you ask me, c-section-er's have it much easier explaining the out part! Of course, we kept it at the level appropriate for a five-year-old.)
Tariq has been an amazing husband, there for me through it all. He wakes me up to provide the good stuff (pain meds during the night). He just arrived home and he's fixing dinner (a very healthy dinner I might add), he always provides me with smoothies packed with protein powder, flax, fruits and my personal favorite.....sherbet! I am so blessed to have a devoted hubby. He is my rock that has pulled me through so many difficult times in my life and this time is no different.
Well.....Leila is off to Nana and Jidu's for a slumber party so mommy and daddy doesn't have to worry about parties in the middle of the night:) Jalyn is about to hit the hay here is a few minutes. This would be the time where I would read to relax, but for some reason I cannot see. What I mean exactly is that when I try to read the words blur together. I try and shake me head, close me eyes for a minute and readjust but it doesn't help. Even typing this has been a challenge. I don't know if this is medication related or anesthesia related, but whatever it is it sucks.
I miss my mom, she went home Saturday.
Well I'm off to shower, put on cozy pj's, and love on my son and then of course, the dogs.
I hope and pray that tomorrow I wake up a different person. Out of the past four surgeries I've gone through, I have to say that this by far (so far) has been the best in terms of not feeling nauseous, extremely tired and run down. I also have never felt so inspired to come out fighting to get back to normal. I want my life back, pain free. Oh the things we will do, the places we will go. That's why feeling down right now has been hard, it's like I'm letting myself down in a way, letting my husband down as I know he needs/wants me back.
Tomorrow I am determined to wake up happy and excited about the future, about the vacations we will take when I recover enough. I want nothing more than to hold my baby girl and rock her, cradle her and remind her who loves her more than anyone else in this entire world. I want to snuggle next to Jalyn, bend down to give him those awesome bear hugs he gives, and remind my husband how very much in love I am with him;)
But for tonight I will take a warm shower, cry and let the pain deep in my soul out for a short time. I believe it's unhealthy to keep our feelings inside, at least for me it's healthier to let them out and move on.
To leave you with appropriate lyrics from a Sugarland song:
Now it is poor me, why me, oh me boring
the same old worn out blah blah story
There is no good explanation for it at all
Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over think it
Let go laughing
Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand it
But the irrefutable, indisputable fact is.......
S%$!......... It happens

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Pain and Dog Lovin'

Oh how I've missed you all.
I'm home now, thank you Beanie for updating everyone on my boring life:)

What a surgery is all I can say!
Pain, Pain, Pain, Constipation, Pain, Constipation, Vomiting, Pain and More Constipation......would you like me to continue?

Tomorrow I have an appointment with the doctor as obviously the pain medicine is NOT WORKING. I'm taking enough that I swear would kill a moose! Yet, the pain does not surrender and I'm not even sleepy in the least. In fact, I now give "dog-lovin" at all hours of the night....the boys could not be happier.

Jalyn of course is struggling a bit, but he is surrounded by so many that love and adore him that the depression doesn't last long. Today was special as he received Easter gifts from Mama (Grandma) and is having a slumber party with her in his room as I type.

Leila is as happy as a lamb. She has had sleepovers with Nana and Laura with baby Brooklynn (Our Nanny and her daughter, Leila's BFF). She does get upset when mommy is unable to hold her, even if I'm sitting, as my stitches are right on my tummy........(toddler foot on mommy's belly ='s OUCH!!!)

Tariq is well, in fact he truckin right along. We have so much help that I don't think my surgery has even been an issue for him:) He made the most wonderful dinner tonight, my absolute favorite of all time........Steak and Crab Legs! Just delicious. Thank you babe.

I will be sending out official notes soon but I wanted you all to know how much I appreciated your calls, flowers etc...

Thank you Palm Valley for the gorgeous flowers!!!

Thank you Taylor's for the amazing flower arrangement!

Thank you Laura for the pink Gerber daisies and for taking Leila for a slumber party!

Thank you Bermans for the beautiful spring flowers and I can't wait for our next lunch date Lori! And please tell Michael that we appreciated him swinging by my room so often to check in. When I was in pre-op and no family had been allowed back yet, I was seriously about ready to run out of there! And Michael walked in and I immediately felt at peace.

To Tariq's parents, we thank you for taking Leila for slumber parties during the week so we could all sleep through the night peacefully......well at least the rest of the house:) I'm usually up giving dog lovin while either waiting to take meds or waiting for them to kick in:) Thank you for dinner, as always your cooking is amazing.

Thank you mom for being here and doing what mom's do best. You've even been called to do some things on this visit that quite frankly, I wouldn't have blamed you if you booked a flight straight back home:) Thank you dad for sharing her with us, we couldn't have done this without her.

Someone had sent flowers while I was actually in the operating room. They were supposed to be brought to my family in the waiting room and never were. They never showed up in my room or at home. I feel terrible about this as nothing is worse than not sending a thank you to someone. Then they think your a terrible person. Please, if you've sent something and I don't send a note your way soon, please let me know!!!!!

Thank you all for your e-mails, phone calls etc.......you have given me such strength and faith to fight and return to normal (if you can really call me normal?!)

Off to my happy slumber, or at least some good ol' dog lovin.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Movin' Right Along

Hi All,
Sorry for the delay in posting. I've been a bit under the weather lately.
I spoke to Rie today, and she's doing better. She still has to take it kind of slow, but her appetite is back, and although she's still in pain, she was in good spirits.

Not a lot is new otherwise. I know you'll all be glad when she gets back on here and can blog as only she can. :)

Hope everyone is well.
Thanks for checking in!

Sunday, March 22, 2009


Just wanted to ask quick question...

Someone sent flowers to Rie while she was in the hospital. They were sent when she was in surgery so the hospital wouldn't deliver them until she got into a room. When she finally got her room, the flowers were never delivered - the hospital staff misplaced them or something! Go figure. I'm not sure who might have sent them, since Rie never got to see them or see the card. If you sent flowers to her in the hospital, could you let me know? You can just leave a comment on here, and that way, I can let her know that you were thinking about her while she was there. I'm sure she would really want to know. She did receive flowers from Suzanne (THANK YOU!).



Home Sweet Home

Hi Everyone.

Just a daily update on Rie. She got home safe and sound yesterday and tried to rest as much as possible. Unfortunately, her stomach had other plans...as it pretty much seemed to have kept her up all night with nausea and all of that good stuff. Today, she's groggy and still feeling out of sorts, but knowing her, she'll be up and about soon. Jalyn is home too, enjoying his time with his Mama (Rie's mom) and relishing in having his parents back within arm's reach. Leila is spending tonight with her Nana and Jidu (my folks), but will be back home in the morning.

More updates to come....


Saturday, March 21, 2009

Going Home!

It's hard to believe that Rie's surgery has come and gone. She is doing much better today, and will be discharged to go home sometime this afternoon. Hopefully, her recovery at home will go quickly and smoothly so she can be back up and running and doing all of the things that she loves to do.

Thanks again for all of the well wishes and prayers, and I do have to send out a huge thank you to my parents. The gigantic pot of Shelghum and Rice was welcome, as well as the goodies they packed for the kids. It made a huge difference when I didn't have to cook for a couple of nights! Wahoo! :)

I'll keep you all posted on Rie's progress until she is able to get back online herself. I have a feeling though, it will be really soon! :)

Friday, March 20, 2009

Still in Bed

Quick update...Talked to my brother. They've given Rie her caffeine drip and they've decided to have her stay in bed until tomorrow. They don't want her sitting up until then just to give her body time to rest and heal from the headache.

Sorry, I don't have anymore info than that, but will be back if I hear more. Otherwise, I'll talk to you all tomorrow.


Stuck in Bed...

Time for the afternoon update.

Talked to Rie...she's still in a lot of pain and they pretty much think her headache is in fact a spinal headache. It is possible that a little nick was made in the spinal column and some spinal fluid leaked - hence the headache. The fix? She has to lay flat for 6 hours and a caffeine drip. Then they'll have her sit up and dangle her legs over the bed. If the headache is gone...then it's done. If not? She's back to laying flat again. Hopefully, the first 6 will do the trick. We'll know this evening..I'll write more when I find out.

Thanks for all of the prayers and well wishes for Rie. I know they mean the world to her, as they do to all of her family.

Talked to Rie

I talked to Rie about 10 minutes ago. She's doing ok, but is in a lot of pain. She also has a really bad headache and they aren't sure if it's a spinal headache or something else. They are waiting for a consult. I'll let you know as soon as I do.

Despite feeling awful, that girl managed to pick up the phone and call...to check on her kids. That's what moms do...even when they should be focusing on themselves, they're always thinking about others.

I'll keep you posted as I know more.


Thursday, March 19, 2009

In Her Room

Hey all,
Just got word that Rie is now in her own room. She's still a bit groggy and in some pain. Hopefully, they'll be able to keep the pain under control and she can get some r&r tonight.
Unless there are any changes, I won't be back on until tomorrow....Gotta go get some turkeys in bed! One down (well, kind of...she's still having a conversation with herself in her crib) and 3 to go! :)


Just got a call about 10 minutes ago that Rie is out of surgery! The surgeon said she did really well and that they only had to go in through the front and not through her back as well. This is great news because it means half the recovery time! Right now she's resting and coming out of the anesthesia.

Be back soon...

The Day of Surgery...

Hi, all. This is Beanie. Rie's sister-in-law. I'll be posting on here to give you all updates on her surgery and her progress. She is having an anterior and posterior lumbar spinal fusion today. As of right now, she is at the hospital and will be going under in about a half an hour. I haven't been updated as to whether or not the surgery will begin as scheduled, but I'll let you all know as soon as I do....well, within a few hours anyway! It's a little crazy around here right now :) 3 goofy boys and a 1 year old princess are a lot for these walls to contain, but so far... so great!

So, as Rie heads in, let's keep the prayers flowing :) She's a strong one, that one, and God has great plans for her... And despite her fears...the same as any mother would have before going into surgery....she'll be back, and stronger than ever. Her fighting spirit is there. And quite frankly, I don't think there's a mountain that girl can't climb.

Be back soon...

Photo Shoot

I took the kids to the park at the front of our neighborhood for a photo shoot this week. These are just a few of my favorite shots.

I'm off to surgery.

I'm trying not to think about what I'm going to experience in the next few hours.

Thank you all so much for your encouraging e-mails and phone calls.
I'm and one blessed woman.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Fair Weather Friends

"You are the rain that falls on my earth."

Jalyn tells me.

This could be taken either way.

He and I absolutely love the rain (when and if we ever see it!) However, rain to some is seen as a nuisance.

I reply "is this a good thing or a bad thing?"

"A good thing mommy, and I hope you land on a rainbow."

What Jalyn was telling me is that I am his everything. In his five-year-old language, he is saying that no matter what ups and downs we encounter, we will face them together. When times are tough for me and us, he hopes that I'll land on a rainbow to catch my fall (as I am the rain.....follow me?)

Throughout life, we meet many people. Some come, some go, and some simply linger.

I've had many (as we all have) that come around much more often when they have something major going on in their lives.

I've spent numerous hours (away from my own dear ones) happily comforting those experiencing pain of all kinds.

Yet when their storm passes and one blows in my way they are no where to be found.

I have a handful of true friends that I know would be there for me through thick and thin, and they know that I would always be there for them, and a few is all anyone really needs to feel completely blessed.

It still stings when you've felt like you've given a piece of yourself to someone who was not sincere.

As I tucked Jalyn into bed tonight he looked up at me and said: "mommy, even when I'm old and it's not cool to hug mommies, I'm going to hug you anyway".

My little buddy, my best friend. You always make me laugh. Thank you for always reminding me what/who is truly important in life. Who has time anymore for fair weather friends?!

Today I vow to give more of myself to my constant, loyal and amazing friends and family.

Sunday, March 15, 2009


I choose from your great book recommendations, Twilight.

I am nearly finished with the first book. I can now understand the craze surrounding the movie, what a great book.

My question is should I watch the movie when I'm finished or should I wait until I've read all four books?


Friday, March 13, 2009

Surrounded By Angels

Pray or worry... you can't do both.
A wise aunt told me recently. So instead of worrying about my upcoming surgery, I'm praying about it.....all the time.

It's never a comfortable feeling having to undergo anethesia, but my life is in His hands as it always has been.

I realize during our time of need just how surrounded we are by angles, truly.

Our nanny and friend, Laura, has been an absolute godsend. The children not only love her, but we adore her. What piece of mind she has brought to our home.

Shannon, my friend and sister-n-law (I got sooo lucky:). She is taking the children Wednesday-Sunday if needed. This is no easy task and one we are so grateful for. When she has our children, I do not worry one bit. She is fun, energetic and loves our kids unconditionally.

My mom who is flying out Wednesday to help me recover from surgery. She will likely stay in the hospital room with me overnight. There is nothing like having your mom with you in time of need. We are going to lunch after she flys in, just the two of us....I can't wait. A mom knows a daughters unspoken needs. A mom knows what to say and do to make things better. I am so happy she's coming, as much as I tried to fight her, I am so happy.

Your supposed to imagine places that make you happy when your stressed. These pictures are my happy place. I will be dreaming of pineapple filled delicious drinks, guava juice, cool, damp air blowing through my hair, riding in a convertable top down along the ocean, a glass of wine while listening to the soft music ocean-side, lucious rain forests and never-ending waterfalls.

Calgon, take me away.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Helllllloooooooo Ladies

I went out with the girls on Saturday night.

I took you out of the closet and dusted you off.
I tried you on and took pictures so I could share you with my readers.

You are my favorite pair of heels.
You make me feel youthful, sexy and special.

My back screams at me when I get home and take you off.......but it's not permanent.

This night I had to settle for flip flops.........

I promise that after my surgery I will plan another girls night out and invite you.

P.S. I have some really great news to share but for now my lips are sealed, stay tuned for my big announcement!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Go Fish!

Today we tried a new after school snack we named "Go Fish". (Very creative...I know:)

You will need small pretzel sticks, cream cheese and gold fish.

You take your "fishing pole" (pretzel's) and add the "bait" (cream cheese) to the end.

Then go fish!

There's just one rule......

You have to eat what you catch! No throwing em' back!

Have fun!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Rie's Recipes

First things first, do you see the inspiration for my blog design?

As promised, here is another of my favorite recipes. I found it in this cookbook . I LOVE this cookbook! This recipe is "easy peasy" (as Jalyn would say:) I have received several requests for this recipe therefore I found it blog worthy!

Can you teach me how to do that mommy???

~You will need a pizza stone. If you don't already have one, they tested seven stones in different shapes, sizes etc.....The Baker's Catalogue Pizza Baking Stone ($49) came out on top.
~Adjust an oven rack to the lower-middle position, place a baking stone on the rack, and heat the oven to 500 degrees. Let the stone heat for at least 30 minutes but no longer than one hour.

Basic Pizza Dough
(makes two pizza's)
4 1/2 cups bread flour
1 envelope instant or rapid-rise yeast
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 tbsp olive oil
1 1/2 cups warm water
~pulse 4 cups of the flour, yeast, and salt together in food processor (fitted with dough blade if you have one) to combine. With the processor running, pour the oil, then water through the feed tube and process until a rough ball forms, 30-40 seconds. Let the dough rest for 2 minutes, then process for 30 seconds longer. If after 30 seconds the dough is sticky and clings to the blade, add the remaining 1/4 cup flour 1 tbsp at a time as needed.
~Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured counter and form it into a smooth, round ball. Place the dough in a large, lightly oiled bowl and cover tightly with greased plastic wrap. Let rise in a warm place until doubled in size, 1 to 1 1/2 hours, before using.
~Split the dough into two equal parts working with one at a time (keep the other piece covered). Roll it out between two pieces of parchment paper.
~Lightly brush the outer 1/2 inch edge of the dough with oil. Spread 1 cup of the pizza sauce over the dough, leaving a 1/2 inch border around the edge. Sprinkle with mozzarella and 2 tbsp Parmesan (try different cheeses, get creative!) Add whatever you heart desires on top.
~Slide the parchment paper and pizza onto the hot baking stone. Bake the pizza until the edges are brown and the cheese is golden in spots, 8-13 minutes. (Prepare the second pizza while the first bakes.)
~Remove the pizza from the oven by sliding the parchment paper onto a large cutting board. Slide the parchment paper out from under the pizza. Let the stone reheat for 5 minutes before baking the second pizza.
Quick Pizza Sauce
2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 28-ounce can crushed tomatoes
salt and pepper to taste
~Cook the oil and garlic together in a medium saucepan over medium heat until sizzling and fragrant, about 1 1/2 minutes. Stir in the tomatoes and simmer until the sauce in thickened, about 15 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste. (The sauce can be refrigerated in a covered container for up to 4 days.)

Easy Peasy............Enjoy!

Sunday, March 1, 2009


Can you believe it is March???
This is what March looks like in Arizona...
You may be saying, oh man I wish I were there! But let me tell you......this is a bad, bad sign. Warm weather this early can only mean one thing.........

So Before you become too jealous, think how lucky you'll be when we can't even put a toe on our concrete this summer! (let alone a cute little bottom:)