Every night at dinner we go around the table and say what our pit and peak was. For those unfamiliar with this, it is citing the best and worst part of our day. You wouldn't believe the information shared during a simple act while eating; worries over test scores, lunch was yucky, the teacher yelled at me, I helped another child up who fell, etc.
One night Jalyn said he didn't have a peak. I allowed myself a minute to ponder why he would say such a thing, surely something good happened to this child today.
And so it went:
Me: "Jalyn? I know it's hard sometimes, and there are days where we all feel as though nothing good happened to us and that's OK. But on those days this is what we do: Ask yourself... 1) Do you have a roof over your head right now protecting you from the rain pouring down? 2) Will there be food on this table for you to eat tonight? 3) Are there people in your life that love and support you?
Jalyn: "Yes, yes and yes"
Me: "Then something good did happen to you today my love. You are one blessed child to have those simple, yet essential things in your life because there are too many who don't"
After the children were tucked in and the house was quiet, I realized that I too feel as though nothing good happens in my life once in a great while. Although I was able to remind my son of our simple blessings, I wasn't able to remind myself of them at the time.
Even in my worst moments, when the world keeps moving and I just need it to stop, I now look for a blessing. It is there, one always is, sometimes I just forget to look.
On this Thanksgiving day, amongst the heartache and tears, I remind myself that I am a blessed woman because: 1) Even though the children are not with me, they are with someone who loves them and I'm grateful for that. 2)Lions are playing:) 3) The rooster is crowing outside my room an hour-and-a-half later today which allowed me to sleep in....thank you rooster! 4) I can name several friends/family that I know if I picked up the phone this minute and dialed...they would answer. 5) There is love in my life, my health has been mostly restored and God is good.
The most difficult thing in life for me is making a decision. Once I do, I can say with complete certainty that I have thoroughly weighed out the pros and con's. In order for me to move through this life in a positive way, I must have inner peace. It ain't always easy. I, like so many others, carry the "what-ifs" with me. What if....this person thinks negatively about me, if I am doing more harm than good, the right decision is being made....and so it goes.
Most of you know that my marriage has ended. Hands down this has been, and continues to be, the most difficult experience of my life. I do not wish to discuss the details, out of respect for everyone involved, nor will I ever write about it here. I only wish to address it this once and move forward, surrounding myself and my children with love, positivity and perseverance.
So came the decision.....what do I do with this blog I have kept for so long? Do I place this little spot of mine in the "let it go" cup or do I continue to fill this cup with new beginnings? Writing has always been therapeutic for me and I thoroughly enjoy writing about the daily gift's God has blessed me with. This blog, in a cheesy way I know, is like a gift....to myself, my children, and maybe even some people who have been touched by the simple writings contained within.
I've made a decision...the blog stays. There are still positive thoughts to explore, happy days ahead and memories to be made.
Welcome to my life in writing as I share the up's, down's and everything in between. Always choosing to make the best of any situation, follow the kiddo's and I as we explore this new home we call Hawaii.