Thursday, July 2, 2009

Warning: Construction Zone

There are some big changes going on in the Al-Mutawa household.
I had a visit with my new cardiologist, whom I love. My Mr. consulted with him when my grandma was so sick. First thing doc asked was "how's your grandma doing?" How amazing was that?
During my visit the doc explained to me how lucky I was to have recovered from PPCM. "Only 1/3 of my patients recover, in fact I have one patient that went against my advice and decided to attempt a second pregnancy. She is now in the ICU awaiting a heart transplant with two babies at home." Wow. I recovered. I'm blessed. I wanted a second child, I tried talking the Mr. into trying again even though I knew that meant possible death. I was desperate. I didn't feel my family was complete. I prayed for God to show me the road we were meant to travel and I would take His hand and place total faith in Him. Well we all know where that road lead, to the most beautiful little girl in the world.
The words I heard from doc was nothing I haven't heard before, but it hit me rather hard. It brought it all back for some reason. Just when you think you've grieved and moved on you realize your not quite over it.
Doc recommends a nuclear stress test to take a look at my ticker. He requested I come in today but we all know that was not possible. Sissy had her MRI. The test will have to wait until after Disney.
Meanwhile, I received a call today from another doc notifying me that I have Hypothyroidism. If untreated, your risk of heart attack doubles. Yikes.
Time for some major changes.
I read the obituaries daily. I watch the news/read the paper daily. While they are inspiring, I read blogs that center around tragedy.
Starting this morning, I decided to stop reading, stop seeking and to stop focusing on negatives. I have my own personal tragedy that I'm still trying to overcome, and that's enough on my plate for now.
I'm going back to work very part time. I'm at my happiest when I'm helping others through their time of need. I've missed my job tremendously and I'm excited to have some adult conversations again.
Starting August I will begin to take cake decorating courses to full fill a dream I've had for sometime. One of my all time goals would be to own my own cake decorating business out of my home.
The gym is back to being my new best friend.
In the past I've felt guilty over taking time to work out, leaving the kids in the gym daycare. Now I realize that getting healthy is not a luxury but a necessity.
Just having these new goals and a husband that supports them has made me feel like a whole new person.
What goals can you make for yourself today towards a happier, healthier you? Think about it and then join me!

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