A Mother's Heart

I am team mom for Jalyn's football team, the Vipers.

On his team is a young mom of two children. She looks 20 at best and her children are 13 and 8. You do the math........does it add up? It didn't to me either. Recently I've become closer to this mom and we had a chat.

Her sister passed away from post-partum cardiomyopathy after the birth of her second son. Sound familiar? At the tender age of 18 my friend adopted her sisters two sons and gave them a wonderful life. She is beautifully mature and these are her children, no one would know any different.

The love and depth of commitment I see on her face for these children takes my breath away.

At this moment I am so grateful for my life. I may never know why my life was spared, but I do know that had fate had other plans for me you would see the same depth of love and commitment on these four women's faces for my children.

Women are the glue that holds a family together. We are there for each other in times of desperation and in joy.

We celebrate each others strengths and bridge the gap of our weaknesses.

We blissfully love their children as our own, a love only another mother knows.

Had my life ended, these women would have carried on my legacy through my children. There is no greater gift in the world.

I would not be the mother I am today without the divine intervention of these women. They stood for me in unity when I couldn't stand for myself.

You four women have moved heaven and earth for me at some point during my life. Our lives will always be linked as women who came to be family by circumstance but stand together by choice.

XOXO,
Rie

Letting Her Go

As I count down the days that I will have alone with my baby girl, I find myself feeling a range of emotions.

I'm excited for her. We dropped off paperwork the other day at her new school and she wrapped her tiny arms around my legs and said "bye, mama". Oh not yet darling. Not yet.

With all the therapist's coming and going and given the fact we don't really know anyone her age, the poor kid has been a little secluded. I may have taken the "bonding" stage a little too far looking back now. She has J and she has fantastic grandparents that swoop her up for lunch and dancing. My babe has been in no way deprived.

This will be great for her development, which is still delayed. There is nothing like peer influence to spark a child's eagerness to progress.

She will learn to trust other capable adults with her well being.

Then there is the other range in my emotions. I'm terribly sad. She, very likely, will be our last and only. She came into this family by unusual circumstances and we had to fight like hell for her. I have her now and I don't want to let go.

Everywhere I go she goes too. My little princess in the back seat that sings and dances during errands. I have been perfectly blessed to have a toddler that doesn't really act like a toddler. No tantrums, fits or crying unless something is terribly wrong. She has been a blessing to cart around. Just watching her take the world in minute by minute is a site I will forever cherish.

Two years together, mommy and daughter. I have been incredibly blessed to have had this time alone with my angel. But life, after all, is about change and nothing ever stays the same. Children grow and God calls for us as parents to grow as well. Being honest, this has been a deep struggle for me. But as always, I pray for God to lead my life in the direction I'm meant to go and I will gratefully follow. I have been lead back to school and my daughter has been lead to the most amazing preschool I've ever encountered. I have peace with our decision.

The time has come to let her go, even if I still keep her within arms reach.

It's Gettin Poopy In Here!

Yup. You read that title correctly.

It seems we have entered the toddler-pulls-off-diaper-leaving-poop-EVERYWHERE-phase. Good gracious me.

I'm tired of cleaning poop off the bedding, the bed rails, the floor, the mirror, the vanity, the dresser......and everywhere else I failed to mention.

I tried to spare Leila public humiliation by posting this topic, but she's going to have to deal as mama needs some help here.

Things we have tried, unsuccessfully:

Diaper backwards

Safety pinning tops to bottoms

Clothes backwards

Discipline

Potty training

A friend showed me this site so I excitedly ordered three.

Perhaps you readers have words of wisdom to share with this exhausted ma and pops, or perhaps I'm just venting as you sigh and say to me "this stage won't last forever so just hang in".

I feel better already.

Now that I've pulled myself together...

I would like to share a story with you.

A story that touched my heart deeply.

Upon entering a tiny dark-green shack locals called an orphanage, my whole world changed. My circumstances and everything I believed was turned upside down.

What my heart couldn't accept in the moment, other's hearts accepted for me.

I am so touched by Kelle's ability to share such raw emotion.

A child is a gift no matter the circumstances.

Read Kelle and Nella's story here

I Read A Story Today In The Paper

about a young woman (my age) that was diagnosed with breast cancer soon after the birth of her first child, a little girl.

A blog she kept chronicled her last months where she fought a valiant fight to remain here on earth for her little girl. She tried every treatment that was offered, even experimental options. One thing was certain, she wanted her daughter to know her mother was a fighter and never gave up.

On Valentines Day she received a call from her doctor: The cancer had spread and the time and come to live and let go of the fight. This mommy began taping videos for her daughter to watch for nearly every event she would one day miss from first dates to periods to weddings and children, she captured almost everything she wanted to before time ran out. Words on her blog stayed ever so positive and uplifting despite the tragedy they were living. This mama kept her sense of humor until the very end.

I turned the page and wiped my tears.

I had to do something.......something..........

Do I give to breast cancer research in honor of her?

Do I give to her husband and daughter?

Like a ton of bricks it hit me.

I was meant to read this article for this very reason:

I don't need to give money, cash has no value in heaven nor in the way this woman lived her life.

I have been living my life for tomorrow. The best way I can honor this incredible woman is to live the life that she couldn't for as long as I can.

Opening the door to Leila's room during nap time only to find play time and disasters used to set me off. Now, I take pictures.

I have asked Jalyn to get dressed only to find myself asking him to change what he had put on because it didn't match. Now, I compliment him on his choices.

These are the days I remember and count my blessings to have lived them. To cherish and nurture your marriage is by far and away the best gift you can give your children. I am here! I am here! And I've often been left to wonder if I would be. For now, I am here and I don't plan on going anywhere, but if I do, my husband will know he was loved and my children will know that mommy was madly in love with daddy.

I had a child, biologically. It was a painful time to be told that future children were not an option for me. I relished my pregnancy, not knowing it would be my last. I captured every minute of this child's life, not knowing it wouldn't be my last.

God had a plan for us. The cards had been dealt but I had yet to play. Another child joined our family in an unconventional way and boy was it a journey I will never forget.

This was me, leaving my child behind. You can see the emotion on my face. This time in my life was one big state of shock, literally. I will never forget this feeling of leaving a child. Never. At this point we've bonded and she was mine. I had to fight like hell to bring her home and I'd do it all over again.
I am very blessed to live this life. The best gift we as mothers can give to those unable to be with their children, is to love our own in memory of them. To remember the bigger picture and what is truly important.

The little stuff doesn't matter, never did.
Thank you for teaching me this lesson.

Sandra. You rocked my world.

Sandra Bullock accepting an Oscar for her performance in The Blind Side.

Picture taken off Google.

During her speech, she thanked all the mothers that love their babies and children, no matter where they came from. She said somehow these mothers never get thanked, and you are oh so right Sandra!

You are an extraordinary actress and human being who truly captures the meaning of beauty, the heart of a woman.

I was more than thrilled for Hurt Locker, I might add.

View From My Seat

This is what errand running looks like in my car.

To you Michiganders, notice the absence of winter coats, the windows are down and the sun is out! It's this time of year I feel blessed to live in this state.

Leila is a smooth rider. Never complains or cries. She simply enjoys the ride....hmmmm, a lesson for life?

Cheers To That!

I came across an article the other day.

A mom talking about stress and the holidays and she offered up ideas to help. Now there were many wonderful ideas but this one in particular spoke to my very soul.

She schedules all routine medical appointments, household maintenance tune-ups, play dates and activities before the month of November.

Come November 1st, every day is for family, friends and relaxation until January 1st.

Inevitably some things cannot be helped but she's does her darnedest.

If you can't tell already by me posting this idea, let me just tell you.... I'm swiping it!

To heck with well checks, pest control, birthday parties (no offense), organizing the house, plumbers/electricians and play dates.

Next year come November 1st my calendar will be cleared.

I will use this time and get to the heart of the matter; friends, family, movie nights, date nights,

quiet moments with each child, local festivities and remembering what Christmas is all about.

Cheers to that idea mama!

Ahhhh, Pure Simplicity

Today I find myself appreciative of the simple things in life.

Darn those eight loads of laundry that never end, yet thankful that I'm here to make sure my family has clean clothes stocked in their drawers when they need them. The smell of fabric softener cuddles them with the love I feel, load after load after load.

Those dishes! Ugh! Get one load in the washer just in time for the pile that's overflowing the sinks turn. Though I'm here and able to load and unload over and over again. Dishes are done just in time to feed my family dinner. Again, washed with love.

My daughter won't nap. This is perhaps the most disappointing thing that can happen to a stay-at-home mother. That precious hour of me time that usually turns into what can I get done in this hour? But this day, this day, I was going to nap. Then I think, I have my daughter here with me, in my home, in my care while so many others are still waiting for their adoptions to go through. What those moms would give just to know their little ones are safe, loved and HOME.

The very best part of my day is seeing the yellow school bus roll over the hill. I watch the most adorable little man in saggy jeans and a grungy t-shirt marked with the days activities he accomplished without me, head my way. We head home for a hearty afternoon snack (honey-crisp apples with Carmel is the fav around these parts), to a home where he has clean pj's, dishes on the table for dinner and a whole lot of love to go around.

It's the simple things that we mothers do that tell our story of love. Being grateful in the fact that accomplishing these tasks rather effortlessly is an amazing gift. Sometimes these tasks can seem minimal and unimportant compared to what our spouses are accomplishing outside of the home. It's what we do during the day that shows our family that we love them. We love them enough to make sure there are clean clothes and dishes, afternoon snacks a mommy and wife that can't wait to see them when they return home.