Drumroll Please....(ddddddddddddd)

"In the spirit of the Clark family Christmas...." I'm only kidding but gosh do I love that movie. "That" being the good old family classic Christmas Vacation.

In all seriousness I would like to attach a letter I sent out via email to close friends and family. We are incredibly excited to help the children that are still in Leila's orphanage, many of whom we took food to while there to take Leila home. I think of the past few years and all we have accomplished in Leila's life: The therapies she's received that have helped place her in the "typically" developing category, the bonds formed between grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, multiple facial reconstruction surgeries and the list goes on. Then I think of the children we met there, that are still there, surviving on the small amounts of love the orphanage staff are able to give with so many children and so little time. This is why this year we are choosing to help the children in Kyrgyzstan orphanages not only celebrate Christmas but to provide the essential vitamins they need to survive throughout the entire year.

Would you like to help us accomplish our goal and honor Leila this holiday season? Please read the letter we sent out below. You will find the link to donate should you feel called to do so.


It's here!  "Pie Challenge Time" is here!  I feel totally out of my comfort zone asking for money.  However, I  will make an exception and swallow my pathetic pride to benefit some very precious children in Kyrgyzstan.  Every year our family does something for others at Christmas whether it be for a military family or families who have a loved one dying on hospice and are unable to provide food and gifts at Christmas for their children. This year we have chosen to help the innocent orphans in Kyrgyzstan that have been unable to leave the country due to political upheaval and the same red tape we had to cut through to get our precious Leila home. 
     Our little girl is in a family where she is loved, safe, provided for, protected, well fed and receives excellent medical care.  Many children of Leila's birth country are not so fortunate.  Most of the children in the orphanages of Kyrgyzstan are merely surviving and many will have life long medical issues due to institutionalization and lack of proper nutrition.  This year's Pie Challenge has a new twist.  The donations will provide not only a small Christmas gift and a meal out but, a year's worth of vitamins for each of the 2000 children that will be sponsored this year.  Here in the United States vitamins are often just an extra added boost to our nutrition.  In Kyrgyzstan vitamins can truly be the difference between life and death.  
     I understand that the holidays are fast approaching and money will be tight.  Five dollars is a huge gift to these orphans.  Many charities and organizations send you information and a place to check off a box with $20-$100+ leaving most of us to feel like cheapskates if we can't contribute that much.  The Pie Challenge is not like that.  Honestly, the change you dig out from under your couch cushions can be used to greatly bless someone.  
     Between now and Thanksgiving would you please join me in praying for these special children?  PRAYERS AND PENNIES ARE POWERFUL!  If you would like to donate you can follow this link:  http://actofkindness.blogspot.com/p/pie-in-face-for-orphans.html  There is a "DONATIONS" button on the right side of the screen beneath the list of Pie Challenge participants.  Please be sure to put my name in the memo if you decide to donate so that it can be applied towards my total so that my children can take turns hitting me with the pies ;)  Jalyn has agreed that he will take a pie in the face with mom if we can reach our family goal of $500.  We will post the pictures on my blog: www.riesdialogues.blogspot.com  Together we can bring hope and health to the orphans of Kyrgyzstan.  Thank you so much for your prayers.

Best,
Kelli Al-Mutawa and Family

Time Away

Where have we been? Gone, gone I say! Had to escape the scorching sunrays!

We packed up the mama-mobile. Filled it with clothes for cold weather, a boy and his DS, a girl and her doll, a husband and his electronic trinkets and a wife with a good book and camera.

Oh and a dog that filled the car on his own with hair balls.

This weekend we got away for a little R&R as a family. We arrived at Nana and Jidu's cabin in Prescott Friday evening.

Every Labor Day Weekend we also celebrate Kyrgyzstan's Independence Day in which I attempt culinary Kyrgyz treats. This year..ummm..not so good. Barely edible if you ask me. (Note to self: try it first BEFORE serving it to others!) I hope that Leila appreciates the effort and thought behind the food. We all were wearing the traditional red and yellow colors however, God had other plans for our clothing. While in Walmart that morning shopping for the ingredients, a large storm decided to roll in......and I'm talking LARGE! Hail the size of golf balls and a down pour that could flood an ocean. We were stuck. Only when the hail stopped did we attempt to make it to the car....soaked. Anyway, here is me by the dish, blissfully unaware of how horrible it would taste.

It rained and rained for most of the day. It was a beautiful site. Leila was a little sick, but what the heck?! These kids don't even know what rain is. By the look on her face, I made the right decision........She kept running and saying WATER!!! Yes my darling, this is water, and not in the bathtub.

Sunday it cleared up and was a beautiful day. Had a great day down at the square and purchased this for my beauty. She was not feeling so hot as you can see.
The guys took the kids back to the cabin and Nana and I went antique shopping. I scored a large Yellow Ware bowl for cheap! Well......cheap for Yellow Ware. My first piece for my future collection.

Oh and that surprise? I'm holding out a bit longer! Soon, very soon.

Interesting article if you have time......
New York Times

A Wise Friend Said....

"The pain passes, but the beauty remains." By Pierre Auguste Renoir


This friend knows exactly the pain I was talking about in my prior post. She and her husband had two failed adoptions and one successful adoption from Kyrgyzstan with similar set backs along the way.


I want to thank you Amber for the excellent quote, how true it is in our cases. One day this pain will pass and we will be able to look back at our experience and not remember the hurt as clearly.


I was lying in bed thinking about this very idea last night. People move forward and time marches on whether we are ready for the future or not. How do you honor these children's past without living in it? I don't know the answer to this yet but everyday I feel closer to finding it.

Right now last year we were in air with a crying baby... But we were on our way HOME.

The last few day's were spent in Kazakhstan. We had to drive in a VERY SMALL car for six hours and cross the boarder into Kazakhstan. There was me, Tariq, Leila, our interpreter, our guide and the driver. It was absolutely miserable. The driver was smoking even though we asked politely he not as there was a baby in the car, it was hot and Leila was miserable. When we got to the boarder there were men in uniform holding guns and yelling, utter chaos. We were told to wait as the men took our passports and paperwork for Leila while our crew made it through. Finally we made it through after about an hour, phew!

(This was us in our car ride across the boarder.)

We were now in Kazakhstan, I tried to enjoy the beauty but it was difficult with the circumstances. After getting lost in downtown Kaz looking for the International Medical Clinic for an hour longer, we finally arrived. Inside the clinic we thought we finally hit solid ground. No such luck. Our facilitator had not brought proper paperwork regarding Leila's vaccine history. She had vaccines yet we had no paper stating specifically what she had. Now we were stuck trying to get a hold of the director back in the Tokmok Orphanage for help. Our facilitator had no cell phone to use so he was stuck asking the medical clinic for help. We were now in a major city trying to contact a place in the middle of nowhere that likely does not even have a fax to get us medical paperwork ASAP! We were told it would be faxed the next morning first thing. Not having faith in this, I reluctantly agreed and we left the medical clinic. Outside we are greeted with a very unhappy cab driver. Now, we paid him a set rate to take us across the boarder and for the entire day. He was now claiming that we made him wait outside the clinic for too long and we now owe him more money. Our facilitator and cab guy get into a fight, almost to blows....it was very uncomfortable as you can imagine. We asked that he just take us to the nearest hotel. The cab driver dropped us off at the Hotel Kazakhstan and literally threw our bags out and was still demanding money. We grabbed our bags and ran into the safety of the hotel, our facilitator was still arguing with him in Russian. We were now in Kaz and had no idea where to stay. We were stuck where we were as it was getting late in the day. There were no arrangements made for us to stay anywhere so here it was. We had to pay $250 for a night plus we had to pay for a room for our facilitator and translator as he they had nowhere to go......$500 in one night!

Apparently this hotel has been redone however, we got one of the last rooms available....not redone. The tile was popping up everywhere; bathrooms, tub, shower, floors.......The faucets didn't work, the bed felt like sleeping on twigs, literally. It was here that I completely lost it. They brought us a crib we could not use as it was completely broke. I lay awake all night worrying about Leila and the way she was sleeping. I thought about our son back home and how badly I wanted to hold him. That morning before our clinic appointment I called Jalyn on Skype. Looking at him I just lost it. I cried and cried and told him how badly I missed him. I watched his eyes fill with tears and he started crying saying how badly he missed us. My parents were there to hold and comfort him, but as I hung up I felt like a terrible mom. I had managed to stay strong for the past two years enduring the emotional roller coaster that comes with International Adoption, but I just physically could not hold it in. I knew that I just did my son no favors, nor my parents that had the difficult task of cheering him up the next several hours. I felt terrible.

Tairq took over carrying Leila around for most of Kaz. I think he could slowly see me turning green by this point.

Back to the Medical Clinic we go. We are on a time limit. We have to take an envelope from the medical clinic to the Embassy in Kaz by 1:00 to receive an appointment for the next day to make our flight the following day. When we arrive to the clinic they say "we haven't received your papers yet!". Are you freaking kidding me?! Now I am irate! Phone calls are made over the next several hours. FINALLY, our translator thinks to ask if there are other faxes in the clinic.......we are told they have one other but it wouldn't go there, she asks that they look anyway. The gal comes down holding the papers. So we think we can grab the papers and go, but then they ask for passport pictures of Leila. What?! We were never told we needed these. Remember we are on a time limit with the Embassy. Where can we get these we ask? They tell us where and off we go to catch a taxi. We arrive to the photo shop and wait for two hours to take and develop her pictures. Back we go to the Medical Clinic and receive this precious envelope and run our butts off to get it to the Embassy on time. At the Embassy we are greeted by Americans.....how nice it was. This was supposed to be the scariest place, the last and final interview that would take place the next day. I was so happy to be here yet still scared as this was it. All we had to do was get through this interview and Leila would be ours. As we dropped off the envelope we are told that the pictures of Leila are not the right size! UGH! However, they were very nice and said we could bring them back anytime today and still keep our appointment for the next day.

After dropping off the pictures we find a different hotel. We settle on one right across from the Embassy, Hotel Eurasia. It was connected to a mall, weird but very nice. Our first room didn't have AC so we asked to switch which they allowed. Now, all we had to do after two weeks of ups and downs and people telling us "she's not legally yours", was walk across the road the next day at 1pm for our appointment at the Embassy for our final interview and she was ours and we could depart the next day home.

(Our dear friend Aijana was our interpreter, we love her so much. Leila refers to her as Aunt Aijana. She is from Kyrgyzstan and we speak to her often via skype. )

We got all dressed up for this big day, Leila wore her first dress that was way too big for her! I thought she had grown more so most of her clothes fell off. Our facilitator and translator met us at the hotel, mostly for support as we didn't really need them here. Everyone spoke English and all paperwork had been turned in. We left the hotel anxious as can be. If it were just Tariq and I we normally took the stairs down, but since we had more people with us and we were all dressed nicely we took the elevator. I had Leila in the carrier. On our way down the elevator stops.... WE ARE NOW STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR. We shake the doors and Tariq tries desperately to open the doors, they are stuck. Our translator is hitting/kicking the doors and screaming in Russian. I hear men outside saying something that our translator clearly does not like as she yells even louder and punches the doors, the men outside disappear and we hear nothing. I'm crying, our interpreter's crying and Leila's now crying. Tariq is still desperately trying to open something, anything. He lift's the facilitator in the air and he attempts to open the ceiling, the light bulbs break, glass goes everywhere and we are now stuck in an elevator.....in the dark. I'm looking at my watch and see our appointment time coming closer and closer...."Were going to miss our appointment!" Our translator starts yelling again, this time I hear the words Embassy. She's telling them we have a very important appointment right now! I'm literally about to have a panic attach, one of my worst fears is coming true but it's even worse than I imagined...we are in a different country. I know in America that if I were stuck in an elevator someone would come running and help, here I have no idea if they even care. All of a sudden I hear a loud clang and see something that looks like a crow bar slightly open the doors. Tariq grabs the doors and along with the crow bar they open, finally. We were dripping with sweat and tears and covered in broken glass, but we were out! We ran so fast over to the Embassy, my watch showed we are late. Maybe we can plead our case to them and get an exception? Please Dear God, Please.

We arrive up to the floor where our appointment is, escorted by armed guards. We see the lady that helped us yesterday and explain our situation to her and apologize up and down. She couldn't believe what we had gone through to get here, she told us to take a seat that we would be seen soon. Our name is called at a glass window, it is time for our interview. The Ambassador arrives and looks at Leila, "are you ready to go home my dear?" Stamp, staple, pay, receipt and here you go. "Have a safe trip home" he says, and that is it. We talk with him a bit longer as those of you that know my husband know he talks to anyone and everyone at length! We walk out with Leila and she is now officially ours, it's over. No more appointments, no worries, just an airplane ride away.......what more could go wrong (don't ever ask yourself this).

(This was us outside the Embassy, as soon as this picture was snapped a guard came up and yelled at us...opps! She was officially ours now and no one could say otherwise!)

The next day we fly out but not until late at night. We spend the day packing and give away much of our belongings to the hotel staff, less to bring home. A cab arrives at our hotel around 9pm, our flight leaves around 4am. We arrive at the airport, we wanted to be early just in case plus we were anxious but we figured there would be seats to sit/sleep on and we figured Leila would sleep there.....no such luck. Since it was after hours, there were gates up leaving us stuck in the main entrance for six hours. We did not sleep this night one bit. Finally they open the gates and we are shuffled into a line to check in. Everything goes smooth and we are sent to customs. There we are greeted by a lady in a glass box asking for our passports, in Tariq's was a little piece of paper he received when we crossed the boarder into Kazakhstan. The lady holds this paper up and says something we don't understand, Tariq replies "no we don't need that", she looks frustrated and leaves. She returns with another lady, looks like a manager or something, she says to us in broken English "this paper is the man's, where is one for woman and child?" Tariq and I look at each other and reply "we don't know, we weren't told to keep them for anything". The lady says "you don't find, you don't leave Kazakhstan. You will have to make appointment at Embassy to have this resolved." Holy Crap! We could be stuck here more days?! I panicked once again....how could this be happening, why weren't we told of the great significance this tiny paper holds? I put Leila down on the ground and she starts crying, we begin madly going through our bags and everything we own to find two tiny pieces of paper, everyone is looking at us like were nuts. We were frantic with a crying baby on the ground, must have been a site to see. Finally I found them and I stand waving them in the air like a flag! "We found them" I yelled! The lady returned with a disgusted look on her face and reluctantly let us through.

(I just took a deep breath, writing this is like reliving it.)

We were finally done. We had to get on the plane and head home.

Leila did not sleep for more than one hour. We had connections in Germany and London. Tariq and I had not slept in over 48 hours. We arrived in LA, finally on American soil. Leila is now a United States Citizen. I find a bathroom and threw Leila to Tariq, ran into women on the way in, closed the bathroom door and starting throwing up. I was so tired, so mentally exhausted, I was spent.

We arrived in Phoenix to family and friends holding signs and balloons, it was amazing! I cried as soon as I saw everyone. We were home. Jalyn was the first one to see and hold Leila, just as we wanted. He was so proud. We spent about an hour showing Leila to everyone and she was thrilled to meet them. It was like Leila knew this was her forever family and she loved them from this moment on. We came home and the grandma's swooned over Leila, feeding her, loving her, holding her, playing with jalyn and yelling at me to go take a nice warm shower. I will always love the grandmas(and grandpas) for this, they were all there when we needed them the most. How very lucky we are.

(My shirt read One Happy Mama and Leila's dress was personalized with her name on the front and an L on her bottom. I saw my Bubby and my feet couldn't walk fast enough.)

(Our first family hug.)

(Amty's girl from the start.)


Only one of a gazillion kisses from Mama (Grandma Rowland).

Nana's girl.

Leila never looked back since the day we left the orphanage, she is our daughter, grand daughter, sister, niece and friend. No matter what we went through to get her, it all was worth it. I would be lying if I said that hearing stories from people that had a great experience adopting internationally doesn't hurt. In some ways I feel robbed of the whole "gotcha day" experience, I never truly was able to enjoy my daughters birth country as it was plagued with worry, but I have made peace with our storey.

Today...one year ago....right about this time....we landed in Phoenix.

No matter how badly my heart was breaking from the mountains of delays and let-downs, I kept going. I have only begun to process what exactly we went through during two years of trying to adopt internationally. It is an emotionally painful journey that will challenge the best of marriages, but the end result is absolutely worth every minute. I look at Leila and I see reason to fight. I see a little girl that lost all she knew and still wakes up with a smile. I see the good in people and in God through her tiny eyes.

Right now there are sixty-five families in the US that already have received referrals of their babies in Kyrgyzstan and most have met their little ones. Kyrgyzstan is not processing these adoptions right now due to various reasons and many parents have taken numerous trips to check on their children. I pray that the officials will process these adoptions soon and open the country back up completely.

Passing Through The Storm

These were the days in wait.

We knew it was a possibility that we may not be bringing our daughter home. Even though this was the trip, the last, the final, the throw your feet up and relax you've got your daughter trip. Not for us it wasn't. There were terrible problems brewing in the horizon for adoptions in Kyrgyzstan and we were left to only wonder for two weeks what would become of our fate.

These were the days in between. They were long, they were hot and everyday brought about more bad news......oh wait!...some good news!.......then WHAM, more bad news to bring you down. The experience's we shared during these two weeks, one year ago today, were the most emotional days of my life. We had our daughter and we tried to stay positive about that, however, in the world of International Adoption you can never get too comfortable until you've landed on American soil.

The memories are still fresh. When I let myself go there, I start to feel sick all over again. I feel as though I have to grieve this period in my life in order to move past it. My hope is that maybe one day, maybe even next year, I will sit at this very computer and not feel sick about this time two years ago. That maybe my memories won't be as vivid and strong. Maybe it won't hurt as much. Maybe I'll be able to look through all the negative and find more positive...........Next year.

This was our life one year ago........

Our first lunch with our daughter. It was beautiful and an experience I'll never forget. They take you to a floating table on a lake by boat and leave you with menu's. By boat, they return to take your order and bring food etc. The wind was blowing and the sun was shining, what a beautiful day. Blissfully ignorant to the days ahead. Leila took a nap on the pillows while we ate.

On one of our many excursions downtown to site see, people watch and grocery shop. I carried Leila all over Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan just like this.......no wonder my back needed surgery:)

Leila had diarrhea. This was only one of his many loads of laundry he hand washed and dried.

It was starting to get difficult. I just wanted all the uncertainty to go away. I felt robbed. When you hear most adoptive parents speak about the trip to pick up their child, they have wonderful experiences. They had no troubles and truly were able to sit back and know everything was taken care of and enjoy their child's birth country. I wanted to enjoy it, I couldn't. We didn't even know if our daughter was coming home this trip. There was too much left to go completely wrong to relax.

The faces that kept me going. The encouragement we received from family and being able to see Jalyn's face and know that he was OK was all we needed to keep on trucking.

Over the next week or so I will be paying tribute to our trip here on my blog. I will be posting more pictures and talking about our experience a tad more.