Coming Soon..

A NEW blog! I can't wait to start blogging again. Going to start fresh. I will keep you posted:)

Kisses,
Rie

Back to Basics

Every night at dinner we go around the table and say what our pit and peak was.  For those unfamiliar with this, it is citing the best and worst part of our day.  You wouldn't believe the information shared during a simple act while eating; worries over test scores, lunch was yucky, the teacher yelled at me, I helped another child up who fell, etc.

One night Jalyn said he didn't have a peak.  I allowed myself a minute to ponder why he would say such a thing, surely something good happened to this child today.

And so it went:

Me:
"Jalyn? I know it's hard sometimes, and there are days where we all feel as though nothing good happened to us and that's OK.  But on those days this is what we do:  Ask yourself...
1) Do you have a roof over your head right now protecting you from the rain pouring down?
2) Will there be food on this table for you to eat tonight?
3) Are there people in your life that love and support you?

Jalyn:
"Yes, yes and yes"

Me:
"Then something good did happen to you today my love.  You are one blessed child to have those simple, yet essential things in your life because there are too many who don't"

After the children were tucked in and the house was quiet, I realized that I too feel as though nothing good happens in my life once in a great while.  Although I was able to remind my son of our simple blessings, I wasn't able to remind myself of them at the time. 

Even in my worst moments, when the world keeps moving and I just need it to stop, I now look for a blessing.  It is there, one always is, sometimes I just forget to look.

On this Thanksgiving day, amongst the heartache and tears, I remind myself that I am a blessed woman because:
1) Even though the children are not with me, they are with someone who loves them and I'm grateful for that.
2) Lions are playing:)
3) The rooster is crowing outside my room an hour-and-a-half later today which allowed me to sleep in....thank you rooster!
4) I can name several friends/family that I know if I picked up the phone this minute and dialed...they would answer.
5) There is love in my life, my health has been mostly restored and God is good.

Happy Turkey Day,
XO
Rie

Decisions

The most difficult thing in life for me is making a decision.  Once I do, I can say with complete certainty that I have thoroughly weighed out the pros and con's.  In order for me to move through this life in a positive way, I must have inner peace.  It ain't always easy.  I, like so many others, carry the "what-ifs" with me.  What if....this person thinks negatively about me, if I am doing more harm than good, the right decision is being made....and so it goes.  

Most of you know that my marriage has ended.  Hands down this has been, and continues to be, the most difficult experience of my life.  I do not wish to discuss the details, out of respect for everyone involved, nor will I ever write about it here.  I only wish to address it this once and move forward, surrounding myself and my children with love, positivity and perseverance.  

So came the decision.....what do I do with this blog I have kept for so long?  Do I place this little spot of mine in the "let it go" cup or do I continue to fill this cup with new beginnings? Writing has always been therapeutic for me and I thoroughly enjoy writing about the daily gift's God has blessed me with.  This blog, in a cheesy way I know, is like a gift....to myself, my children, and maybe even some people who have been touched by the simple writings contained within. 

I've made a decision...the blog stays. There are still positive thoughts to explore, happy days ahead and memories to be made.

I'll see you there.

XO
Rie

Growing Pains

My boy just brought me a glass of lemonade that he made all by himself.  Gosh he will make a wonderful husband (someday---in like 30 years:)


My girl is growing up so fast, they both are.  People tell you that you turn around and they are grown: "little kids, little problems.  big kids, big problems."  So not ready for the big kid problems.  


Leila kissed a boy at preschool and got caught....She has four "boyfriends" (all of whom I thoroughly love and I happen to adore the parents, but four years old???)

J and his friends talk about all the cute girls at school and who has a crush on who.  It goes something like this:  "who do you like?  you do?  but i like her, can't you find someone else?"
Seriously.  

I'm headed to the firing range to sharpen my skillz............

Kisses,
Rie

Getting Back into the Swing of Things

Gosh.  It has been so long that I am not even sure where to begin.


I took a break, stopped the chemotherapy and every other drug doc's have placed me on over the past ten years.  I'm not gonna lie, a few months in paradise actually felt like an eternity in hell. 


The flip side is---it was all worth it.  My head is clear, I am healthier and I actually feel like a normal human being again.  

I love Hawaii.  It is beautiful and everything one would imagine it would be to live here.  The jacked-up prices no longer bother me and the simpler life has felt far more appealing.  I miss our Arizona home, very much so.  I miss my friends and family.  I miss having a Target within five minutes.  God do I miss Lifetime Fitness! But today, I had the rare luxury of laying on the beach all by myself.  No children to worry about drowning; nothing but the sun, sand and myself.  


J has mono so we had to cancel his big summer plan which was surfing lessons.  The kids, myself and the dogs have all settled in nicely.  I am actually going back to work and school! It's time.  I miss that piece of myself.  

I'm going to leave this post short and sweet as I ease my way back into writing.  


To my blogging friends, I have been absent in writing and reading what you have written.  Never has a day gone by that I did not think about you all and how life was going.  Just like old friends, life has a way of picking up right where it left off.


Kisses,
Rie

Sicky girl hanging out on the terrace.

Yes---it really is chilly.
>

Just the Mr and I

The mr and I got away for the weekend---just the two of us. We participated in the Travelocity surprise package, meaning for cheaper rates you only know the area and star rating of the hotel, nothing more.

Sometimes throwing caution to the wind pays off big time.

A beautiful day at the beach!
This was taken pre-pneumonia. Leila is well and will start preschool next week! Until then, I'm enjoying having my little peanut all to myself.

Aloha
Rie

It Rains Pineapple Juice

HERE.

Interesting eh? NOBODY stops what they are doing if it rains. You're at the beach? No biggie--if you run the locals know you're a tourist:) And let me tell you---locals spot them right away. We are not, but we look like we are, we act like we are, so until they realize 'hey, those folks haven't left yet?' then tourists we shall be.

I have taken SO many pictures but can not figure out for the life of me how to put them on my blog. If you are reading this and know how, please share the love and leave me a comment telling me how. I have an I-phone and blogging on my I-pad. The pictures are on my I-pad but can't get to them?

The Mr took off to finish up work in Phoenix and I really miss him.

Leila was diagnosed with walking pneumonia yesterday and seems to be getting worse. She is on nebulizers and antibiotics with a follow-up with the doctor on Sunday. I L-O-V-E our pediatrician, she is amazing.

I found a private preschool for Lei and a public school for J that is right around the corner. It was pure luck to find a spot for Lei with the waiting list and coming in mid semester. Again, meant to be.

Detroit is playing in a minute so I need to go represent. Oh, Hawaiians are real big into football! I love that!

Aloha,
Rie

Mele Kalikimaka Everyone!

Boy has this Christmas season been the craziest experience ever. We are light-less, decoration-less and present-less. BUT.....

"Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f****** Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.". Christmas Vacation, the ultimate Christmas experience!

just couldn't help myself! Our seemingly absent Christmas spirit this season is within reason. And besides, it's not the outwardly show of spirit that truly matters, although beautifully meaningful in its own right, it's what you carry in your heart and share with those around you that truly envelopes the meaning of Christmas.

On January 1st, 2012, we begin an experience of a lifetime.
Our family is moving to Hawaii, Oahu to be specific. We will leave behind our home in the desert and enter a new home residing less than one mile from the beach.

Why? Well first of all why not? However, the most notable reason is due to my health. The Mr applied to several places all over that had more temperate climates and oh my gosh by golly, Oahu picked us! This move was so meant to be that we are simply showing up---God has arranged everything for us.

I miss writing/blogging, it's what I love to do, it's what I hope to do more of from our seaside dwelling. Also on my list? Reconnecting with my camera, what better place to do so than paradise?

Merry Christmas to you all. May the new year bring to life new dreams, health and happiness.

XOXO
Rie

Drumroll Please....(ddddddddddddd)

"In the spirit of the Clark family Christmas...." I'm only kidding but gosh do I love that movie. "That" being the good old family classic Christmas Vacation.

In all seriousness I would like to attach a letter I sent out via email to close friends and family. We are incredibly excited to help the children that are still in Leila's orphanage, many of whom we took food to while there to take Leila home. I think of the past few years and all we have accomplished in Leila's life: The therapies she's received that have helped place her in the "typically" developing category, the bonds formed between grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, multiple facial reconstruction surgeries and the list goes on. Then I think of the children we met there, that are still there, surviving on the small amounts of love the orphanage staff are able to give with so many children and so little time. This is why this year we are choosing to help the children in Kyrgyzstan orphanages not only celebrate Christmas but to provide the essential vitamins they need to survive throughout the entire year.

Would you like to help us accomplish our goal and honor Leila this holiday season? Please read the letter we sent out below. You will find the link to donate should you feel called to do so.


It's here!  "Pie Challenge Time" is here!  I feel totally out of my comfort zone asking for money.  However, I  will make an exception and swallow my pathetic pride to benefit some very precious children in Kyrgyzstan.  Every year our family does something for others at Christmas whether it be for a military family or families who have a loved one dying on hospice and are unable to provide food and gifts at Christmas for their children. This year we have chosen to help the innocent orphans in Kyrgyzstan that have been unable to leave the country due to political upheaval and the same red tape we had to cut through to get our precious Leila home. 
     Our little girl is in a family where she is loved, safe, provided for, protected, well fed and receives excellent medical care.  Many children of Leila's birth country are not so fortunate.  Most of the children in the orphanages of Kyrgyzstan are merely surviving and many will have life long medical issues due to institutionalization and lack of proper nutrition.  This year's Pie Challenge has a new twist.  The donations will provide not only a small Christmas gift and a meal out but, a year's worth of vitamins for each of the 2000 children that will be sponsored this year.  Here in the United States vitamins are often just an extra added boost to our nutrition.  In Kyrgyzstan vitamins can truly be the difference between life and death.  
     I understand that the holidays are fast approaching and money will be tight.  Five dollars is a huge gift to these orphans.  Many charities and organizations send you information and a place to check off a box with $20-$100+ leaving most of us to feel like cheapskates if we can't contribute that much.  The Pie Challenge is not like that.  Honestly, the change you dig out from under your couch cushions can be used to greatly bless someone.  
     Between now and Thanksgiving would you please join me in praying for these special children?  PRAYERS AND PENNIES ARE POWERFUL!  If you would like to donate you can follow this link:  http://actofkindness.blogspot.com/p/pie-in-face-for-orphans.html  There is a "DONATIONS" button on the right side of the screen beneath the list of Pie Challenge participants.  Please be sure to put my name in the memo if you decide to donate so that it can be applied towards my total so that my children can take turns hitting me with the pies ;)  Jalyn has agreed that he will take a pie in the face with mom if we can reach our family goal of $500.  We will post the pictures on my blog: www.riesdialogues.blogspot.com  Together we can bring hope and health to the orphans of Kyrgyzstan.  Thank you so much for your prayers.

Best,
Kelli Al-Mutawa and Family

Just a quickie

Rewind:

1st- need to start blogging again.
Why?
A) I get to live life twice
B) it's therapeutic
C) some really amazing things are happening in my life right now

Now back to the rewind button:

Since I last wrote I was diagnosed with sjogrens syndrome. I have started chemotherapy in an effort to tame my stinking immune system. Yuck.

Leila had massive reconstructive surgery to her face which is turning out beautifully (thank you Dr. Leighton, or dr dude, as Leila refers to him as. Yes I will post pictures, at some point.

Just stopped by to say hello and write a quick update. I need a keyboard for this darn I pad before I can type more---never have hit the backspace button so much in my entire life!!! But I do love you oh I pad, I do!!!

Rie

You Asked For It......Sulta-li-a-no!

I haven't a clue why I bestowed him an "Italian-themed-nickname," it simply flew from my mouth as freely as the word shit crap does.

I will never forget the night Sultan arrived.  His flight was late therefore the Mr picked him up alone.  I remember the Mr calling and saying "we've got our self a big one," like he was out fishing for another son or such.  Men. 

If I may speak type openly and honestly, as a mother, I certainly had my reservations about a young boy moving into a home with two young children----I believe any mother would.  As with most decisions, I went with my gut (and the mr's) and our guts didn't lie. 

That amazing, miraculous, wondrous night, was the beginning of a family taking a new shape--a rounder shape--a completed circle. 

What he has taught our children, heck! what he has taught us about teenagers, is priceless. 

But I bet what you really want to know is HOW he came to be OURS.  His father is a friend of our adoption agencies liaison whom accompanied us to Kyrgyzstan for our first visit.  One night, he took us out to dinner and dancing (and I had to eat horse).  We immediately clicked, despite the fact that we spoke no Russian and he spoke no English.  One would say something then wait for the translator and the table would erupt in chuckles.  We exchanged e-mails and kept in touch. 

Sultan is a US citizen but lived in Kyrgyzstan with his family until his sophomore year of high school in which he was sent to live with extended family in Colorado.  Unfortunately for his senior year, the extended family underwent a financial crisis and could no longer look after Sultan.  His dad called us in a panic one evening and we agreed, just like that. 

Jalyn and Leila refer to Sultan as "brother" as well as Leila.  We are privileged to call him a son and will forever look after his needs, guide him through life and laugh at all the silly, and sometimes inappropriate jokes we share together.

Life is certainly a little more sweet these days.

Now----were off to Michigan!  Can't wait to catch up with old friends, family and feel the arms of Michigan firmly wrapped around my soul. 

XOXO
Rie

Random Ramblings

So you found me eh??? Being back here feels a bit like coming home.....I feel comfortable here.

I don't have much to say, really. I feel like poop most days as my joints ache, burn, swell and become stiff. Putting two feet on the ground in the morning simply takes too much effort and energy at times.

Docs think it's RA (rheumatoid arthritis) and now their out to prove it. I just want medicine to make it better already. Feeling crummy can be down right depressing---especially when the children's laughter echos down the hall and into my bedroom and I am reminded of what my body is keeping me from enjoying.

I am counting the days until I can see my mama and daddy, feel their warm hugs and enjoy that beautiful Michigan breeze. We are ALL going........my hubby and Sultan this time! The kiddo's are beyond thrilled and I'm counting the days til I can wrap my arms around this turkey:

Just look at those baby blues---and to think I haven't held her since she was newly born (insert sad face here). I miss out on so much being here in Arizona, away from my Michiganders. My mom, dad, sis, bro, aunts and friends all do their best to call me often, fill me with updates, throw Peyton on the phone so that I may sing with her---all in an effort to help me feel closer to home. I crave the support of having my mother live close to me, especially these days. I need her more than ever. Countless days I would have called and asked her to come sit with me, talk to me, love on my babies. I would have begged her to get me out of the house and have lunch together, something, just to help me feel human again. Then again, I know I wouldn't have to beg as she is always one step ahead knowing just what I need.

It gets so lonely here in AZ while fighting an illness when all you want is your mom, who just happens to be over 2000 miles away. Melissa, Rebecca.......you two rock! Your support is unyielding and your friendship only grew stronger during difficult times and will never be forgotten.

I don't always have pleasant thoughts to write about, therefore I haven't written. But with the support of my friends and particularly my Aunt Daleann, I will write----even when I feel I have nothing to say that anyone would want to read.

XOXO

Rie

I am no longer blogging here.......You can find me at: www.riesdialogues.com

See you there!

The Day Has Come

As the sunset's on one chapter of my life, a new chapter awaits.

I have been blogging now for over two years, never really knowing where it would take me. I have learned something new about myself throughout this journey with every type of a single letter, as I ponder my life as it stands within the moment.



Typing my life has allowed me to live moments twice, once in person and again in writing. I have learned along the way that life is not about finding ourselves, it's about creating ourselves. In the depths of our souls we carry with us our future achievement's that will one day blossom, giving us the power to release our dreams turning them into reality.




May I introduce to you, my new baby:
www.riesdialogues.com

Starting tomorrow, Monday, July 26th, the GRAND GIVEAWAY BEGINS!
Join me in celebration as I celebrate you in return!
See you there!

XOXO
Rie

Ya'll Come Back Now Ya Hear???

I hear the thunder of rolling waves, feel the drips of humid ocean air on my skin, and red ice cold strawberry daiquiri's are calling my name.

I am off folks, to put my bum in the sand and my worries to the wind. Watch my kiddo's place their tootsie's in the warm sand and splash in ocean water.

Taking a blogger break for the week. You bet your day-of-the-week undies (seriously, did we all have those as kids?) that I will be back!

I have been working around the clock with my web designer and participating businesses in anticipation for the launch of the new Rie's Dialogues! We have added an amazing lady to the list, check her out here: Tina Steinberg Now go and wipe that drool off your face!

Monday the 26th is the the day (tentatively speaking, you know how these things go) that we will launch my amazing new site! I'm going to even bring a little work with me to that island getaway.......but truly, I don't consider my blog work! This is my new baby and I'm ever so proud to share it with you all.

See you back soon!
XOXO
Rie

Jumping Back Into Civilization

It's harder than I imagined. I went from not even a second of free time to lots of free time, however, it's not all that free. Everything piled up while my mind focused on school and I find myself playing catch up: Planning Jalyn's birthday party, fundraising for his football team (insert here: God bless all you moms out there that do it, talk about a full-time job in itself), completing forms required for the nursing program to which I was formally accepted a few days ago (insert here: what the hell did I get myself into?), creating a new Star Wars room as a birthday gift to J (insert here: what the hell did I get myself into?), finishing the final touches to my new blog site and dealing with technical difficulties on my end (insert here: COX man coming to home tomorrow), deciding how exactly the children will be taken care of during the next year in hell or something close to it, oh, and washing, drying, and folding mountains of laundry that I swear NEVER disappears!

A few things I have found myself to be sure of.

1. I frequent a few places far too often.

Case in point- I pulled up to Walgreen's, and no more than the front of my van was visible (insert here: yes I drive a mom mobile and you drive a Lexus SUV, you suck) and the lady says through her loudspeaker "for Jalyn?"

OK so some parents in the medical field choose to let illness ride out saying things such as you don't need antibiotics for that, it won't help the illness go away any faster... blah blah blah. In my family? If there's a medication that can help ease the aches, pains, rashes, ear infections, red throats, and gosh darn stuffy noses then by gosh, I've got something for it. Seriously, why let yourself be miserable while "riding it out". Nope not me.

2. I pull up to Starbucks and simply place my order. The lady says, again over loudspeaker, "why did you switch from black to green tea?" Seriously people, the least you can do is pipe it down and say this stuff quietly and preserve an inch of what's left of my dignity.

So I've got problems? What mom trying to maintain her right mind doesn't? "Good" moms I suppose. Well I took myself off that list long ago. I am content with being me, the good, the bad, and yes the ugly--all of us moms have the "uglies" but some are chicken to own up to it. I call these times of poor discretion "bad mommy moments." I cry, feel awful, and tell myself they will never remember these "ugly" moments because I provide plenty of amazing ones too.

XOXO

Rie

8 Years

my mr and i have been married eight years now

in the past eight years we've....

-married--adopted a dog--moved--bought a home--mr had new job--adopted second dog--had ovarian cancer scare--surgery--pregnant--dog lost eye sight, $5000 to restore it--gave birth--heart failed--six months where i couldn't be mommy--hysterectomy--mr received offer to start hospitalist practice with other physicians--went without income for one year--bad timing, was in process of building new house--moved--adopted another dog--gall bladder failed, of all things--hospitalized for meningitis for two weeks--mr traded the fast life for hospice gig--began process for adoption--traveled around the world, twice--two years and a whole lot of money pass--daughter is added to our family--back goes out--spinal fusion--heart failure returned........and now were to the present.

some marriages are built with sticks upon stilts.

our marriage is built with two-ton boulders piled on top of each other with concrete heavily slathered in between.

no amount of wind will blow us down.

thank you for the beautiful weekend of rest and relaxation. but most importantly, thank you for building this home and this life with me.

here's to many more years together

xoxo

rie

the load is off my shoulders

school is over

4.0 baby!!!

i doubted myself

i've cried nearly every hour since finding out

gotta work on that confidence issue

my children left to spend a week with grandparents

i miss them

my babies

i've put them to bed

i woke them up

and took them to school

for the last month, I barely saw them

i miss them

my mr did...

dishes

laundry

baths

dusted

vacuumed

children

and worked

it is our 8th anniversary

he will be deeply rewarded

he knows how great he is

i am super lucky and don't need to write about it

but i am anyway

i want the world to know

i am blessed

keep watch

next week is big

and i know you wanna win

i have some amazing chicks in my life as well

and they are gonna shower you

like crazy

let it be

life will always be what it will

all turns out in the end

the way it is meant to

xoxo

rie